it was like his penis was on wheels.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
