just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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