i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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