the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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