so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
