I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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