I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
