Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
