I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
