Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
