Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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