watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
