so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
