Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
