I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize