Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize