he puts the penis in happiness.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
