no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
