I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
