bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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