I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
