The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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