i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
