We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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