omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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