If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
