wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize