O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
