so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
