There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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