Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
