So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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