I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
