Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
