im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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