All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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