Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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