the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
