Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
