just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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