So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
