She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
