You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
