Kiss
Puke
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
