Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
