Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
