I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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