Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
