She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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