You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
