I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize