YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
