Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
