why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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