got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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