i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
