I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
