worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
