I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
