like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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